Necessary vs. Unnecessary

Moms love to give you their list of what you need and what you don’t need. We want to do this because we don’t want you to waste your money on crap, and want you to buy the things we truly believe in. We don’t get commission for this. But we also have to realize that maybe you don’t want to hear what we have to say, or you’ve already heard from someone else that THIS bottle is better than THAT bottle. And you can do your own research. C’mon, you’re having a kid. You’re capable, right? 

WELL, with that being said, here is my list of necessary and unnecessary items. Take it or leave it, this is just what worked for us!

Swing: Some moms will tell you to get one that bounces or vibrates, and some babies really like that. So a combo might be great. But ours just swings (side to side or forward and backward), and it is usually our last resort to get naughty one to sleep, because it works. I’m incredibly impressed by how long batteries last in this! We used this EVERY day for the first 7.5 weeks that Kip has been alive. And sometimes for a few hours overnight, when he can’t settle down to sleep. One day I tweeted at Fisher Price because the batteries did die, and I didn’t know if we had more, and they responded within a couple of hours asking if there was any way they could help, which I thought was pretty cool!
http://www.target.com/p/fisher-price-twinkling-lights-spacesaver-cradle-n-swing/-/A-14775322#prodSlot=medium_1_8&term=fisher+price+swing

Pacifiers: I tried to hold off giving him a pacifier because I’d read about “nipple confusion”. Well, he’s a comfort sucker, and he needed something. So we ended up giving him pacifiers earlier than we had planned. Naturally, his favorite was the MAM one that I melted. And then later I melted five past the point of use. So we had to buy more. I do think that it is important to have a couple of differently-shaped pacifiers, because some days he will take certain ones better than others.
http://www.amazon.com/MAM-Affection-Silicone-Pacifier-Months/dp/B00IOGIE14/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1435434414&sr=8-2&keywords=i+love+mommy+pacifier

As he’s gotten older, he has grown more fond of his Wubbanub, which I really like because it makes it harder for him to repeatedly spit out. (Score one for mom!)
http://www.amazon.com/WubbaNub-W32429-Blue-Bear/dp/B007IVXRT0/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1436205990&sr=8-7&keywords=wubbanub+bear&pebp=1436206034314&perid=1NK8B67QWD7NPJ01XF2F

Automatic breast pump: I got a Medela Advanced, and I’m so glad that I did. I think it works great. It is simple to set up and use, storage is easy, there are lots of accessories, and if our insurance covers it, I will really like it. ;) In case insurance did not cover it, I waited until it was on sale, then used a coupon from Target. Did you know that if you have a registry with Target, they send you 15% off coupons toward your due date so you buy what’s left? It worked. I got mine for about $210.
http://www.target.com/p/medela-pump-in-style-advanced-breast-pump-tote-and-feeding-starter-kit-bundle/-/A-14271871#prodSlot=medium_1_1&term=Medela+advanced

Bottles: I like Tommy TIppee. The nipples are designed to be shaped naturally like a breast. Kip took to them right away without a problem. I felt like he could control the flow, as well as the fact that you can buy low, medium, and high flow bottles. I never felt like he was choking on it. It is also shaped in a way that makes the bottle easy to hold. When he is older, I don’t think he will have a problem with it. We started using the larger bottles (9 ounces) around 7 weeks.
http://www.target.com/p/tommee-tippee-closer-to-nature-bottle-collection/-/A-14515872#prodSlot=medium_1_1&term=tommy+tippee+bottles

Spit rags/cloth diapers: Those plain white Gerber cloth diapers are absolutely a necessity. And in a great quantity. If you’re lucky, someone can sew some cute fabric to one side to they aren’t so ugly/soak up more spit. I actually tuck one into my nursing bra while he is eating so I don’t get soaked.
http://www.target.com/p/gerber-newborn-10-pack-gauze-prefold-diaper-white/-/A-13574461#prodSlot=medium_1_3&term=gerber+cloth+diapers

Woombie: A swaddler designed to feel like the womb. Kip absolutely loved his. This was recommended to us and given to us as a gift, and I am very thankful for it as he slept very well in it! (Not to mention he looks like a cute little pea pod. We were quite sad when he grew out of it!)
http://www.amazon.com/Original-Woombie-Vintage-Bicycles-Swaddle/dp/B00TI3EM3Q/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1435434781&sr=8-3&keywords=woombie+bicycle&pebp=1435434808126&perid=0B48DEKW6SSTNDK89EGA

Summer Infant swaddlers: Same as woombies. Baby boy loved to be wrapped up in these, and as he got bigger we were able to free one arm for him at night. When he outgrew the smalls, I ordered a larger size. Babies just sleep better when swaddled!
 http://www.amazon.com/Summer-Infant-SwaddleMe-Adjustable-Lining/dp/B00N6PKL78/ref=sr_1_sc_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1435434862&sr=8-2-spell&keywords=summer+infant+swaddlers+bee

Lanisoh: If you don’t want your nipples to feel like they are going to crumble and fall off, buy this. Use it. Especially the first few days when your nipples are in shock.
http://www.amazon.com/Lansinoh-Lanolin-Breastfeeding-Mothers-Grams/dp/B005MI648C/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1435434949&sr=8-1&keywords=lanisoh

Breast pads: There are disposables and there are washables. What’s important about these is not what kind, but how many you have. Because I can go through 2-4 pairs a day. (Soft is always a plus!)

Nursing bras: Again, I’d have multiples of these. Make sure they are comfy. Make sure they don’t have an underwire. An underwire will put each boob in their own personal hell. I promise you that much. Motherhood has a buy 3, get 1 free sale once in awhile. Take advantage. But definitely try them on in the store to make sure they fit! And buy as late as possible. I think I went up ANOTHER cup size just in the last month. Ugh.

Nursing tanks: Again, it matters not what kind nor brand. They are helpful merely for the convenience! Also, if you don’t feel like wearing a bra that day, you may be able to get away with just wearing the tank.

Blankets/quilts: Luckily, people will give you these as gifts. A very thoughtful and unique gift is a blanket or quilt that someone has sewn for you. Even when you think you have too many, you don’t. J We have a quilt that is designated for tummy time, and a back-up quilt for when that one gets dirty.

Boogie Wipes: I bought these on a whim, not thinking they were a necessity. They are really meant for when the kiddo is sick and has a sore nose, but they will come in handy way before that. Did you know you will probably have to massage the inner corner of your newborn’s eye because he will have blocked tear ducts? And the result of blocked tear ducts is lots of eye gunk? Well, these help out a lot with that.
http://www.target.com/p/boogie-wipes-unscented-saline-nose-wipes-90-count/-/A-14723853#prodSlot=medium_1_1&term=boogie+wipes

Washcloths: When these washcloths came in the mail from Target I was so irritated, because they were really thin! Turns out, they are perfect for cleaning his face. Especially when goop gets in the corner of his eyes. Once I am done washing his face, I put this over his belly to keep him warm. He hates the bath way less if you put a washcloth on his tummy (tip from sister-in-law!). Then I use thicker washcloths for his body.
http://www.target.com/p/circo-newborn-6-pack-washcloth-set-white-grey/-/A-15225961#prodSlot=medium_1_26&term=circo+washcloth

Tommy Tippee Bibs/Bandana bibs: Tommy Tippee bibs are great because they have a dribble catcher, which prevents the babe from getting milk all over his clothes before we go out in public, or when we are in public. As for bandana bibs, these are great to prevent spit-up from getting on that cute outfit you really wanted him to wear that day. My mom made us a bunch of those. Snap closures are preferable over Velcro because the Velcro is already starting to wear out.
http://www.amazon.com/Tommee-Tippee-Closer-Nature-Feeding/dp/B004I2JU02/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1435433863&sr=8-2&keywords=tommee+tippee+bibs&pebp=1435433901349&perid=0BH8S1SFJRM2DKFJY9JQ
http://www.amazon.com/Zippy-Bandana-Drool-Adjustable-Snaps/dp/B00GR5KC8C/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1435433991&sr=8-2&keywords=bandana+bibs&pebp=1435434028196&perid=0XDW0F9NAEFQV4F29YH8

Pack ‘n’ Play: We could consider this particular model both necessary and unnecessary, for the time being, but I’m sure that will change once we are moving and in our new house without our belongings. The babe has slept in his pack ‘n’ play every night since we brought him home. We have yet to use the changer part of it, ever, but again, once we move, I think we will. I like that the sides are mesh and you can see the baby/if his eyes are open from across the room. He could care less about the stars hanging down, but they’re cute.
http://www.target.com/p/graco-pack-n-play-playard-with-reversible-napper-and-changer/-/A-14030867#prodSlot=medium_1_5&term=pack+%27n%27+play

Tinybeans: A free application for you to use on your phone that connects you to friends and family far away. Upload pictures daily to keep them up to date on how little one is doing. It sends out a daily or weekly e-mail with all of your uploads to keep friends/family in the loop. GREAT when your family is far away.

Aden and Anais swaddle blankets: I don’t know what it is about these blankets…oh, wait. Yes, I do. They are so soft, the baby loves the way they feel. They are slightly stretchy. And for some reason, the size is just perfect. The packaging also states they can be used as spit rags or nursing covers, or carseat canopies. We have only used them as carseat canopies, but assume they would work well other ways because they are breathable. I found a 4-pack at TJ Maxx for $20 when they are normally $35, so I bought Kip one, one for a future baby we might have, and one for a friend. These are honestly one of my favorite things because we use them daily. Summer Infant also makes swaddle blankets, but they are smaller. And a few inches makes all the difference. (That’s what she said.)
http://www.target.com/p/aden-by-aden-anais-swaddleplus-4-pack-oh-boy/-/A-13652669#prodSlot=medium_1_4&term=aden+and+anais

Diapers you like: We started off using Pampers Swaddlers Sensitive. They fit well, hardly ever leaked, have the “pee gauge” on the front, and have a nice, faint aroma. They didn’t bother Kip’s skin, either. We used these up until week 6, when we started using cloth diapers during the day and the Pampers just at night and when we would be away from home. I have continued to use these, although they are not normally stocked in our Target or Wal-Mart. I have heard that once babies start moving around more, Huggies seem to be better. We will see!  
http://www.target.com/p/pampers-swaddlers-sensitive-diapers-super-pack-select-size/-/A-14721315#prodSlot=medium_1_6&term=pampers+sensitive

A friend had recommended www.alvababy.com for our cloth diapering needs. I am pleasantly surprised with these diapers, considering that they are cheaper than most. There are lots of different styles, but we have single and double gusset pocket diapers. So far, any leaks have been due to user error or the fact that I have left little one in them for too long. They aren’t meant to absorb like a disposable. Kip now cries because he is wet, which he does not do in the disposables. It kind of bothers me that he does not cry when wet in disposables, because I think it will make potty training more difficult at some point. I will probably write a big long blog at some point about how to use cloth diapers from my experience. But for now, we will just say we are glad to be transitioning into cloth diapers and reducing our impact on the environment.

Vaseline: If you have a little boy and have him circumcised, you don’t want his little wound sticking to the diaper. So by slathering a little Vaseline onto the diaper where they might meet, you prevent it from getting stuck!

Wipes: You’ve got to have wipes. Unless you’re going to use your hand, sicko. (Ha!) I don’t think it matters what kind you use, but we have tried to avoid the kinds with any perfumes because they just are not necessary. Pampers seem to be larger and thicker versus Huggies, but Huggies makes a refillable plastic wipe carrier which is perfect for the diaper bag.

A good diaper pail and/or garbage can: Before we started with cloth diapers, we were using the diaper pail for diapers/wipes and the garbage can for everything else. The diaper pail was smaller than I thought, but I don’t think it’s good practice to have a lot of room to fill. Because then the diaper pail sits full. Then we started using the cloth diapers, we lined the diaper pail with a washable Bumkins’ brand diaper pail liner and started using the garbage can strictly for the wipes and disposable diapers (sposies). I’m impressed with the ability of both to hold in odor, not that a breastmilk-fed baby diaper smells too badly. The only thing about the trash can is that it’s encouraged that you use their garbage liners. I’ve found cheapy ones fit just fine.
http://www.target.com/p/simplehuman-studio-10-liter-profile-step-trash-can-in-brushed-stainless-steel-with-plastic-lid/-/A-10793030#prodSlot=medium_1_1&term=simple+human+trash+can
http://www.amazon.com/Bumkins-Diaper-Pail-Liner-Gray/dp/B00L8JQU7Y/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1435439366&sr=8-3&keywords=bumkins+liner
http://www.target.com/p/dekor-classic-hands-free-diaper-pail/-/A-10865874#prodSlot=medium_1_1&term=dekor+diaper+pail

Hamper: Babies dirty lots of clothes. It’s a fact of life. So get a hamper you like. I like this because of the portability of it.
http://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-SaraBear-Port-Hamper-Brown/dp/B0088VR7EA/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1435439627&sr=8-2&keywords=sarabear+hamper

Diaper organizer: I never would have thought of this as a necessity, but I hate to think of what else you would do. It’s so handy to have everything right there, ready to go. You’re not fumbling in drawers trying to find things. You wouldn’t believe how a child can scream when you are baring his behind to the world. An unacceptable practice!
http://www.target.com/p/munchkin-diaper-duty-organizer/-/A-10753320#prodSlot=medium_1_4&term=munchkin+organizer

Kip falls asleep to noise. I fall asleep better to noise. You don’t want a baby that can’t sleep unless it’s absolutely quiet, either, because you’ll never get anything done! This was not an expensive sound machine, and it does the job! It’s even got a timer so that it shuts off after ten minutes or so. Heartbeat, two “whooshing” sounds, and some lullaby, and on different days he likes different ones.
http://www.target.com/p/mybaby-by-homedics-soundspa-on-the-go/-/A-14282460#prodSlot=medium_1_34&term=sound+machine
There’s also a more expensive version that will put baby AND you to sleep.
http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Shusher-Soothing-Miracle-Babies/dp/B00D2JN87I/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1436207355&sr=8-1&keywords=shusher

Baby monitor: We like ours because of the large screen, ability to move the camera with the handheld monitor, noise level indicator, and “talk” button, allowing you to soothe little one until you can get to them to pick them up.
http://www.target.com/p/samsung-3-5-safeview-pan-tilt-zoom-digital-video-baby-monitor/-/A-14639437#prodSlot=medium_1_4&term=samsung+baby+monitor


Car Seat/Travel System/Jogging Stroller
Although I would love to have a BOB jogging stroller, a Graco is much more affordable. I like this travel system and it does the job, but the wheel on the front locks by itself sometimes. (Our friends actually removed the lock so that it wouldn’t continue to do this on theirs.) The actual harness in the car seat is difficult to loosen. The car seat also gets caught in the car seat base.
Once again, it does the job, but I’m not incredibly impressed.
http://www.target.com/p/graco-fastaction-jogger-click-connect-travel-system/-/A-15286992?lnk=rec|pdp|viewed_bought|pdp404h2

When you live in a town with terrible quality water, you boil your bottles and pump parts to sanitize them every time you use them. If you do this daily you might as well leave the supplies out, and here’s a cute way to do this.
http://www.target.com/p/boon-grass-countertop-bottle-drying-rack/-/A-12190250#prodSlot=medium_1_1&term=boon
http://www.target.com/p/boon-twig-countertop-drying-rack-accessory/-/A-14296752#prodSlot=medium_1_2&term=boon
http://www.target.com/p/boon-stem-countertop-drying-rack-accessory-white/-/A-14296784#prodSlot=medium_1_4&term=boon

Kip had a little sniffle a couple of weeks ago, and this cleared it right up. Plus, it’s cute. We have the cow.
http://www.target.com/p/crane-adorables-humidifier-collection/-/A-14407659#prodSlot=medium_1_18&term=humidifier+crane

When you’re using cloth diapers, you’re supposed to hang them to dry, not put them in the dryer. This comes in very handy.
http://www.amazon.com/Bonita-Delight-Retractable-Clothes-Line/dp/B00RME82ZW

UNNECESSARY

Thermal gel breast pads: Unnecessary but feel so, so good when you have a little mastitis, and during the first few days you are home! Truthfully, you could use any ice pack, but these are just shaped perfectly and don’t get too cold.
 http://www.target.com/p/philips-avent-thermal-gel-pads-2-pack/-/A-13956468?registryId=wCPmmJnYdEQyLsDROb_oqg&regTitle=Moriah%20Lazoritz%20%26%20Chris%20Lazoritz&regType=BABY&regMode=REGST&itemLineNum=108&reqQty=1&regPurQty=1&regPage=RMI&preSelFlag=1&cr=true

Boppy pillow: I was told that I should have one of these or “My Breast Friend” pillows because it would keep the pressure off of my c-section  incision when I was feeding Kip. I used a regular pillow for the first couple of days, and nothing after that. I have a long torso, so maybe that is why I didn’t have pressure on it, but I didn’t use the Boppy until he was 6 weeks old, and it was to prop him up during tummy time. In my opinion, absolutely not necessary, just convenient.
http://www.target.com/p/boppy-bare-naked-nursing-pillow-white/-/A-10463711#prodSlot=medium_1_2&term=boppy

Not necessary but helpful for momentos:
http://www.amazon.com/Belly-Book-Nine-Month-Journal-Growing/dp/0307336182/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1435435784&sr=8-1&keywords=belly+book
http://www.amazon.com/My-Baby-Book-Keepsake-Journal/dp/030746542X/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1435435786&sr=8-2&keywords=amy+krouse
http://www.amazon.com/Your-Birthday-Book-Keepsake-Journal/dp/0307342301/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1435435844&sr=8-1&keywords=birthday+amy+krouse
And it matters not what kind, but a baby calendar with stickers, that remind you, “Hey mom. You should probably know when this happened!”
I also, journal, so I have some fillers.

I think, for safety reasons, you do need some type of infant bathtub or insert, but you don’t need one this fancy. HOWEVER, this is a very handy bathtub to have and keep clean, but Kip is still a little small for it, so if someone is not holding him I feel the need to roll up a towel next to him to make sure he stays upright.
http://www.target.com/p/4moms-infant-tub/-/A-14569476#prodSlot=medium_1_2&term=bathtub+4mom

Wipe warmer: In no way is this necessary. Yes, Kip hates it when you take off his clothes. Then he hates when you take of his diaper. Then he hates when you wipe his behind with a cool/room temperature wipe, but what do you think you’re going to do when you’re in public without a wipe warmer? Breathe on it until it warms up? No. Not necessary. Besides, the more awake your baby is, the better they eat.

There should really be a sub-category of “Unnecessary but convenient”. A friend bought me disposable breast wipes. These came in super handy the other day while we were at the pool and little guy needed to eat. A quick swipe and you’re ready to go!
http://www.amazon.com/First-Years-Soothing-Breast-Wipes/dp/B001G4TMUI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1436207503&sr=8-1&keywords=the+first+years+breast+wipes

I’m still debating if our crib mobile was necessary, because he loves to look at it, and it definitely soothes him, but we have other things that could do the job as well.

Some ideas are really smart, but by the time you use them, you may as well have foregone them. Diaper changes go best when they are QUICK! Baby boy does not like them. So, I thought, in theory, that having a swaddling changing pad cover would keep him calm during the diaper change. But really, it makes it last longer and probably stresses us both out. Choose to forego this.
http://www.amazon.com/SleepSack-SwaddleChange-Diaper-Covers-Newborn/dp/B008VWPXTC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1436207865&sr=8-1&keywords=summer+infant+swaddle+changing+pad&pebp=1436207900781&perid=1NKPHA1J8T9RRP2QP8A1

Alright, I’m sure there’s more, but I’ve been working on this blog for 3.5 months now. It’s time to move on! I’ll write an updated one around 6 months or so, as I am sure that our needs will change!

Thanks for reading, and hope you find out what you need or what you need to buy for a friend! 

I Saw Her Standing There

Forgive me: I forgot to post this when I wrote it on March 26th.

Let me paint a portrait of six months of pregnancy for you.

You've got a lady, sizable baby bump, she's standing in front of the TV in an undershirt that's juuuuust a little bit too short for her (and nothing else, not trying to be sexy here), licking the most giant spoonful of frosting she could manage.

That's how Chris found me after work the other night, zoned out, worrying only about my perfected cream cheese frosting. And a lot of it.

It's kind of insane how hungry I always am. Tonight was the second time that I told Chris I was going to grab a snack from the kitchen and proceeded to make an entire sandwich. And then ate that whole sandwich. But yell at Chris when he took a bite that took an entire oval pickle, leaving a gaping pickle hole. I then asked him to put away the sour gummi worms so I wouldn't eat any more, and he said "No, because you're going to eat more. And if you don't eat those you'll just get another snack."

I can't deny it. He's right.

Yesterday, we took a small private plane ride around Corpus Christi with Chris' classmate. Mom and I had to laugh at how funny we are because the plane was built in 1963, you know, the year she was born. She called it "almost vintage". Although South Texas is by no means beautiful, flying at 200 hundred feet along the beach was pretty neat. I couldn't snap a photo, but at one point we flew out over a totally rusted tugboat. It would have made a gorgeous photo, had I been ready. Had I not been having bladder spasms in the backseat. Had I not been just a teensy bit airsick.

Note to self: don't fly with a couple of student pilots. Instead of just enjoying the flight, they will probably pretend to have engine failure and do landings. Yeah, like put the throttle to idle and do a couple of landings. Then while up in the air, point out good spots to land in an emergency. I later asked Chris if he thought about those things when he was just flying with just he and I. He did, but he never voiced the thoughts out loud. I preferred it that way.

We had our fair share of scares this week. Thursday, Chris and I went to the doctor for a baby check-up. All was good, I was measuring on track and the baby had a healthy heartbeat. Unfortunately, our doctor and sonographer noted that I had low amniotic fluid. Normal is typically 9-25cm, if you google it, and I was at 8.45. The pregnancy had been fairly easy up until this point and pretty carefree. So, naturally, Chris and I went from giggling at our new pictures of our baby to silent, and somber. The doctor was fairly calm about it, he just said that my fluid was low and he was sending me to a high risk OB/GYN to check the baby's kidney function. Amniotic fluid is, essentially, the baby's own pee, so we start to worry about kidney function when we have low fluid.

Luckily, we were able to see the high risk OB that same day, but a few hours later. Chris and I drove home in silence. I was buried in my phone, googling everything I could and trying to figure out how this had happened or what we could do about it. I sat outside for awhile, trying to get some vitamin D to improve my mood and chugging water. Our appointment was at a bigger hospital in Corpus Christi. I couldn't say much, I think the nurse could tell I was very nervous and I was thankful for how sweet she was being. I won't forget her curly, red hair.

The sonogram tech was also very sweet. She was confused as to why we came to see them, though. The baby's fluid measured at 12.4! Well within the safe range. We had to laugh at his punky little butt-he was sick of the ultrasounds I think, as he punched the tech's transducer when she poked him for the hundredth time. Even she laughed. The doctor came in to look as well, and I thought it was very cool that he was trained to use as the ultrasound as well. He said he had no concerns at all, and said we didn't need a follow-up, that I would be fine.

It was such a relief knowing that our darling boy was fine.

When the husband is away...

I will sit on the couch. for about 8 hours straight. Except for pee/food breaks which are...well, let's be honest, pretty frequent.

Let me clarify. I'm not doing both of those at the same time. Those are separate breaks.

Chris went on kind of a last-minute, yet somewhat planned cross country training flight this weekend. He didn't really know where he was going until yesterday but it worked out pretty well. He flew to Tampa, an incredibly busy airport. His aunt and uncle live there as well, so I believe they are going to lunch tomorrow.

I was thinking I'd be working Saturday and Sunday and the weekend would fly by, but I was wrong. I work Saturday only. I need to keep myself busy on Sunday. As you well know, I love my husband. Kind of obsessed, actually, And pregnant Moriah is very emotional and needs to smell him almost as much as she needs to breathe.

So, with the disgusting amount of television I watched today, I cried off an on. I didn't do any chores. I threw myself a pity party on the couch. I did spend a fair amount of time trying to find things to wear for my maternity photo shoot that will happen when I go home at the end of March.

That's right! I'm going home at the end of March for almost two weeks. I am planning on driving up to northern Minnesota with my family to see the Lindemoen side for a couple of days, driving back to spend the weekend in Omaha, and then who knows for the rest of the time being. I know we are doing maternity photos at some point. I'm hoping I have enough time to see everyone that wants to stop by!

My brain doesn't work that well anymore. And yes that is my segue.

You know that part of your brain that says, "You shouldn't do that. That's stupid and you're going to get hurt."? That doesn't work well when you're pregnant. That part of my brain didn't warn me how stupid it was that my knife was pointed toward my hand while slicing an avocado the other night. Had I stabbed myself just a centimeter over, or harder, I'd definitely have stitches. Luckily, Chris was home to hear me mutter, "Oh s**t." He came into the kitchen and helped me control the bleed.

Knives, honestly, haven't been my friend lately. Which brings us to EPIC PREGNANCY MELTDOWN NUMBER FOUR (I'm not actually keeping track, that just sounds about right). I had made Chris dinner and we were sitting down to eat and watch The Walking Dead. Chris took the plate from me, where I had stupidly placed a steak knife on the edge. He barely moved and the knife (new, from Christmas, sharp as hell) went tumbling off and toward my foot which luckily, I am still quick enough to move out of the way. Naturally, I took this as a personal, aggressive attack meant to chop off my toes because HE DOESN'T LOVE ME EVEN THOUGH I AM CARRYING HIS CHILD.

(Please read above with outrageous pregnancy hormones at your helm.)

This sent me back to the kitchen in a sobbing fit. The boy has it figured out at this point. He doesn't have to say anything. He just has to wrap me up in a huge hug and wait it out. He learns quickly. Thankfully, he did just that and the epic meltdown resolved. 

Today mom asked me, "Do you remember..."

"No." The answer is always no. Tiny one sucks all of the brainpower. And what's left I use at work. That means there is absolutely none left. Which is why I revealed the baby's sex on Facebook and about an hour later was like, "Huh. Maybe I shouldn't have written that."

Dumb.

I've heard it doesn't really get better, which is kind of terrifying.

I told my boss that I won't be coming back to work after I have the baby. We'll be moving, hopefully, sometime in August or September, and I don't plan on leaving the little one until I have to. I'm also not overly thrilled with the idea of going back to a job I'm not totally in love with. Don't get me wrong, we have our good days and bad days at work. But I feel that we are understaffed and it's exhausting. I don't love it enough to leave someone at home that is part me and part Chris.

I'm glad we've made these decisions. It feels like we are getting closer to our due date! We crossed into double digits on Thursday. DOUBLE DIGITS, people. Soon we will be down to just three months.

Hopefully, Chris gets better at math, because he told an instructor last month that I was six months pregnant and we only had 2.5 months to go. He was stressing. I said, "Honey. I'm five months pregnant. You have four months to relax. Breathe."

You could SEE him relax.

I was so glad to finally go to the doctor this week and have a foot problem taken care of. I've had some major pain in my foot, right on the pad I run on. I had dug something out awhile back, and it came out. It got kind of better, and then steadily worse. I was very irritated that it was slowing and stopping my running. It's hard enough to run when you're pregnant! Your stomach muscles get sore and for me, my gastrointestinal system hates running. I feel quite ill once I finish running. Always. But I still do it, because I need to exercise. Labor is, supposedly, much easier if you're exercising at least 30 minutes a day. I mean, work is 12 hours walking and on my feet, but it's not enjoyable. Running used to be such a joy for me! Hopefully, I can get back to that someday. Anyway, I went to the doctor and she dug into my foot until it bled. and I felt so much relief not only from pain, but pressure. I am so thankful for that.

I still see the chiropractor every week. My tension headaches are under control and he gets rid of the lower back pain that comes with lugging around a soccer-ball sized uterus and 1.5 pounds of baby. And yes, I do know this will get worse. I like to ask him questions about his wife's pregnancy because she recently had a baby. He recommended that I don't get into the hospital bed until I am totally ready, because they always made his wife stay in the bed once she got in it. He also said to make sure I eat before I go to the hospital, because they won't feed me if I'm in labor. I asked if his wife got an epidural, because I desperately do not want one. I have read about epidurals that don't take, that take too long, that wear off too fast, that only go down one leg, and that leave back pain for YEARS, not to mention spinal headaches. These are things that I feel are preventable, and I want to avoid. He said his wife got an epidural for their second child, and it only worked on side. He also hinted that he has a few patients that come in with back pain from epidurals.

No thanks. 

I might regret that later, but for now, that's where I stand.

I signed Chris and I up for birthing class and breastfeeding class. He wasn't sure that he needed to go to breastfeeding class and I told him he needed to in case I forget anything. Which, I do. I forget things all of the time now. I'm going to need him to be my backup memory.

Lots to do in  little time! I've started to wash clothes, now, so let's all pray that he is indeed, a boy.

Well, I'm going to bed early. Because I can. :)  

You Have a Waddle

My husband is a very kind, very sweet person. He is very caring. He doesn't like to hurt my feelings. Unfortunately, when you're pregnant, one wrong word or inflection leaves you with your jaw hanging open looking like someone just ate the last cookie. (Actually, that could be a worse crime but we will get to that later.)
One of Chris' many out-loud proclamations included, "You have a waddle", which he quickly corrected with, "You walk differently now that you're pregnant."
Ah, yes. Please tell me more about how my hips have widened, I am the heaviest I have ever been, and my skin stretching tightly over what was once a non-existent gut. These are things I was not fully aware of. These are not reasons I look at "23weekspregnant" on Instagram, wondering if everyone else looks as huge as I feel.
Honestly, most people have said they can't believe I am 5 months along, but these are also people I have just met in the hospital. They didn't know me before!
I cannot even begin to describe to you how disgusted I was the first time I felt my boobs touch my stomach. These parts were quite small before, and didn't touch regularly. I voiced my concerns to my mother who responded, "Just wait until you feel your stomach on your thighs."
Thank you for the encouragement!
I admit, up until about 20 weeks, I had decided that pregnancy wasn't really my favorite undertaking. It was all symptoms and what felt like no reward. And then I felt like a failure because I felt like I should be happier. I should be more excited.
And then he kicked. And once I knew he was kicking, I looked forward to the next. And before I knew it, he was kicking all of the time. Then, I would find myself staring at my belly for solid blocks of time, just waiting for the next.
Week 23 is half over and has included 1 meltdown, 2 food accusations, one "holy hell" moment, and after many outtakes, one fantastic kick on camera.
The meltdown came after watching the movie, "The Judge", which touched on a lot of intimate moments a family goes through in hospice. It made me cry, which made me realize how far away I have gotten away from what I would truly love to be doing, and that made me cry even harder. Meltdown is the only way to describe my flailing hands and sobs as I ran to the safety of my bed to feel sorry for myself. Thanks, hormones.
The food accusations need not be dwelled on, just take note that if my husband wants to live a long, happy life, he won't be eating all of the ice cream again.
My "holy hell" moments happen in front of mirrors and always catch me off guard. Straight on, fine. Sideways? Naked? Oofda. I am now built of a not-so-intricate series of lumps and bumps.
Finally, one kick. For a babe who loves to kick when I lie down to sleep and when I wake up, he sure doesn't do much during the day or when I'm working out. So, naturally, when wiggle worm was doing his daily karate practice, I attempted to get a video to show Babi (his grandma Lindemoen). He is much like his father in that when a camera comes out, he suddenly gets very shy and refuses to do the thing that made me get my camera out in the first place. I managed to get one good kick to show her, though.
Tonight, I went to a friend's to catch up on the Bachelor. We made dinner and talked and it's something I really look forward to. We dress comfy and truly have a girls' night. Well, I wore black leggings and a maternity tee that said, "Made in Texas" with an arrow pointed toward the bump. I felt ok, cute even. Then I walked outside and a kid on a bike saw my stomach and said, "Whoa".
Don't worry. It was his last word.
Chris asked me to grab beer for him on my way home.
Yes.
Let me waddle myself into a gas station to buy you beer. (I did, because I'm the best wife ever. Obviously.)

Boy or Girl?

Unless you have been one of privileged few to know early (or saw my pregnant-brain slip-up on Facebook), you're still waiting to find out if we're having a baby boy or a baby girl.

Since I am 20 weeks along on Friday, we had our halfway ultrasound today.

According to our early gender test, something we paid a little extra for at about 11 weeks, we were going to have a boy. Our justification for paying for the test was that we could save money on baby gear and clothes by watching sales. It's worked! We have tons of stuff. And I managed to find a crib for free, so all we had to do was scrape off stickers, sand it, and paint it. We will also have to buy a mattress. So, we have been not-so-patiently waiting for the sonogram because we are the type of people that need to see proof in order to really believe something.

My mother and I promised each other that we would NOT go crazy buying a bunch of clothes and things for the baby until we knew with absolute certainty that it was a boy. As you can see, that worked out super well, and Sheila Marie Lindemoen did not buy two years' worth of clothing for our child.

Notice there are two flight suits and three flight jackets.

Chris had to talk to the duty officer so they wouldn't schedule him during the ultrasound or doctor's appointment. Ultrasound was on the schedule, so when someone asked "ultrasound for what?" he said, "I need to go see how big my kid's wiener is." That's right, folks, while I had been telling people we were going to see a wiener on Wednesday, Chris was talking about how big it was. Since that matters so, so much.

WELL, we saw a wiener today. It's there. We are having a baby boy.

I am in awe of him already. I never thought I'd be in love with two boys at one time, but I have my husband and this perfect, amazing, beautiful baby boy. We were in absolute awe of him today, watching him squirm. On the way to the appointment, I turned down the radio to tell Chris I was nervous. Nervous, that they wouldn't find a heartbeat, or that they would tell us he wasn't doing well because I've only felt him kicking once. I know it's still early, but I have been worried because most people on the baby boards said they had felt kicking by 20 weeks.

We found out why today; I have an anterior placenta, meaning the baby essentially has a body pillow he is kicking in the front, and not me. My friend that is also pregnant and has an anterior placenta said that she didn't feel much kicking either, until about 23 weeks. Since then it hasn't stopped. So maybe I should enjoy the next three weeks of not being pummeled while I try to sleep. Since I haven't felt him move, I didn't think he was very active. In the sonogram, though, he proved me totally wrong. He would barely sit still for the tech to get pictures. It was just amazing to watch his little fists flying.

I could have sat in the sonogram all day and just watched him. I couldn't believe the way his little body moved. Tiny fists beating and long legs kicking like a frog. The doctor came into the sonogram room to watch and his first observation was "That is a long baby. Look at that neck." The sonogram tech also commented 3 times on how long he was. Baby boy Lazoritz is also measuring at 12 ounces, which is a little ahead of the "norm" according to my baby app. 

Chris was a big boy at 9 pounds, 1 ounce, so we will probably be having a big boy no matter what.

I could go on and on about watching his heart beat, and seeing his little bladder and kidneys, but all that matters is he seems to be a very healthy, long boy who I know is going to be perfect in every way and never make me mad. (Ha!)

We have been all smiles, all day. And we are totally in love. 

Have You Ever Imagined God Was...

Have you ever imagined that God was a retired, 60ish, Latino man with a mustache?

I hadn't either. That was before I received a pre-natal massage from someone matching this description.

You definitely picture an Enrique Iglesias-type when you book a massage from a male masseuse, but I don't think that's usually what you find. I had to stifle a giggle when I saw who was going to be doing my massage. Chris likes to pretend that he gets jealous when I get a massage from a guy but I knew he wouldn't care about this one.

So, yes, this massage was wonderful and I will definitely be going back to this guy. Not to mention that, because of him, I felt my little one kick for the first time. (And for the first time, I was sure it wasn't just gas.) The masseuse was rubbing my back and I felt three little thuds, resembling "Knock. It. Off." Apparently little one is not a fan of massage.

Too bad I am, and I'm going to keep going to see him! These tension headaches are NO joke and I must do everything in my power to stop them before they get ugly. Between massages and the chiropractor, I'll make it.

It's amazing what no longer matters when you feel your baby kick for the first time-it doesn't matter that you told your husband not to flush the toilet until you get home with a plunger, and he doesn't listen so it overflows and makes a huge mess. And it doesn't matter that the dog peed on the floor while you were standing right next to him. And it doesn't even matter that you've been sick for 8 days anymore.

AND when I was driving home, I heard Garth Brooks' new song, "Mom", and obviously started bawling. Duh.

I'm on top of the world tonight.

That won't stop me from complaining about being sick now. After all, what do my readers come for except to read my complaints?

I was at work the other day, day 7 or so of being sick but steadily feeling worse. Throughout the day I started sneezing, coughing, and sounding all the more plugged up. I was supposed to work the following day but I ended up calling in. Why would I go into work sick, around sick people? Does that help anyone?

No. So I stayed home. And thank goodness I did, because I was so weak, and tired, that I nearly passed out. I coughed so long and hard that Chris had to sleep in the other room. I think I was out of bed for a total of 5 hours the entire day.

Do you know how bad it sucks to be pregnant and sick?

You constantly live on the edge of a dangerous cliff named "Will THIS make me pee my pants"?!

Every cough, every sneeze.

Don't worry, only SOME did.

Not to mention the fact that I am overly emotional anyway, I sat down on the couch by Chris last night and when I started coughing, he jokingly looked at me like he was grossed-out. I, of course, took this to heart and started bawling and through tears whined, "I'm so DISGUSTING!"

You know, your typical, emotional,dramatic, pregnant, overreaction. I've had a few of these, I'll admit.

Here's some pregnancy advice for you! If you're going to get pregnant, make sure you do it so that when you're busting out of your old bras, it just happens to be the Victoria's Secret semi-annual sale. Definitely try not to be too awkward when you're asking the fitting room girl if other pregnant ladies' boobs keep growing. Or shrink. Or whatever.

UM, she said that women can fluctuate a whole cup size in a day?! How do I not think of these things/know these things already?!

I have now classified my life into time periods.
A-Cup Era: High School
B-Cup Era: College
C-Cup Era: Pregnant

Excuse me while I revel in my ample bosom. It's like puberty all over again!

Now, a public plea for two things:

First, my friend Ashley's dog tore his rear ACLs and needs surgery. She is just out of school with lots of bills, and I know she needs help with the surgery. She has a gofundme page:
http://www.gofundme.com/jlxghw

Second, my sis-in-law's boyfriend sliced his hand open around Christmas with a saw. He is a self-employed carpenter and should he even be able to return to the work he was doing, he still has numerous medical bills now. Any help here would also be appreciated:
http://www.gofundme.com/jtqsjw

As always, thank you for reading!

My Baby Named Zeus

Alright, so what do we know about the Greek God, Zeus?

He is often depicted with a beard. He can control lightning and thunder. There are a couple of other factoids but they do not pertain to my child, so we will go from here.

First off, the baby's name should be Zeus. If it's a girl, we have a problem because I don't think there is a feminine version of Zeus, but here's why:

About once a month, I break out in a beard of zits. I wish I was kidding. My chin and my neck erupt into a pubescent storm of hormones. These are two areas I don't normally suffer from acne. It is quite disgusting, and makes me think of Zeus.

When Zeus gets angry, he starts storms with thunder and lightning. Now I'm not saying that we have an inherently angry baby, what I'm saying is that if he/she does not like what I'm eating, my stomach rumbles and I need to find a bathroom-quick.

I don't need to dwell on this. Most of you read my last post.

Lastly, Zeus throws bolts of lightning. Have you ever experienced the horrible phenomenon known as "lightning crotch"? This term, I am 100% certain, is a scientific term. You will just be sitting there, minding your own business, passionately daydreaming about your wonderful baby growing inside of you and how much you will love each other, and then there is a strong burst of energy like an electric fence to your hoo-ha that about knocks you off of your chair. This is a real thing, guys. Beware.

Pregnancy has been quite evil to my body. I escaped the ruckus of morning sickness for the most part, only experiencing the need to run to a restroom in the morning a handful of times. Instead I had sickness at night, feeling terrible from the hours of 5-10pm in the first trimester. It was not a "throw-uppy" type of feeling, more of just a general on-my-deathbed feeling.

The second trimester dropped this problem and moved onto another, this one much more life-altering leaving me unable to look the other way, literally.

I woke up at 2am on Friday morning (for, I don't know, my sixth pee break?) and attempted to turn my head. I found myself completely unable, my neck a solid mass of sore muscle and a pounding, horrible headache wrapping around my occipital region, like a band. I attempted to fall back asleep, hoping it would go away (how naive). I lay in bed for an hour and a half, unable to sleep, unable to move, debating if it would be wise to call in to work. I even googled, "is it bad to call in to work for neck pain?". Fortunately, the internet made me feel a wee bit better about my decision to call in. That was, until, I actually dialed the phone and the manager told me that I was the second person to call in, and there may be repercussions for calling in during a holiday week.

How hard it is to hold back that part of yourself that says, "WELL, I can't move my head without crying out in pain. It should be super easy to take care of patients for the next 13 hours. I just worked Christmas Eve (without time-and-a-half pay) AND Christmas Day, and thought about calling in, but didn't." But, being the delightful person that I am, even in terribly excruciating pain, I apologized. And then later apologized to my boss.

I'm irritated that I still felt guilty.

I had to call around to 7 salons before I found a place that had an opening for a massage that day. It was over an hour away but it just didn't matter anymore. I couldn't turn my head to look to see if cars were in the other lane. I had to rely on mirrors. That's scary.

When I got to the massage appointment, the therapist told me, "Since this is a prenatal massage, I'm sure you have lower back pain and leg pain, so we'll focus on that."

"Actually, I only have neck and shoulder pain, and I'm dying. Can we focus on that?"

She responded by telling me, "Well, we will focus on that, and if I have time, I will do your arms and legs and whatever else we have time for!"

She was very nice, and as much as she improved how I was feeling she might be my favorite person that ever lived.

So, for the next 45 minutes (entire duration of the massage), she focused ONLY on my neck and shoulders. About five minutes in, she told me that it was really bad. 10 knots just on the left side, 7 on the right. One right along the ligament from my neck to shoulder that was so big it felt like a growth, and it burst like an egg sac spewing more knots from itself. It was disgusting. And as much as it hurt, it felt so much better when she was done. Massages never seem to last long enough, but I'm telling you I would have done anything for another fifteen minutes.

I also picked up some lavender oil and Blue Oil from Aveda which are both supposed to help a ton with helping one relax. I think it has helped. I think oils do work wonders, but ESPECIALLY so when you believe in them. Like, half a placebo. Hint: Blue Oil is also supposed to help with hot flashes. This could be a lifetime worship of Blue Oil.

On the recommendation of another massage therapist, I took a bath that night complete with bath fizzies, 6-to-8 cups of apple cider vinegar, epsom salt, and a couple of drops of lavender oil. I may have overdone it. I don't know that it did anything but a bath is a bath and I had time to read "Yes Please" by Amy Poehler.

I think it's kind of amazing I survived as long as I did pre-massage without completely tensing up like I did. I had to start taking Tylenol for the pain, which helped for a couple of weeks, and then I discovered a yoga routine specifically for headaches which helped a bunch after work. This worked or another couple of weeks. The chiropractor once a week helped until last week. I normally see a different chiropractor but since his wife had a baby, he wasn't there and someone else was there in his place. She stretched my neck but did not crack it, even though I asked her to, specifically. She didn't do much with my neck and I didn't leave feeling any better. A couple of days later (Friday), was the worst day of my pregnancy thus far.

Pregnancy is not fun, people. I think once he or she starts kicking, it be a reminder that all of this is quite worth it. In fact, soon it will be a nearly constant reminder that this is all worth it. And it should happen at any time! I'm currently 17 weeks along and in three weeks we will get to see our little one on the sonogram again. Last time we saw he/she, they were just a little blob on the screen.

Can I just tell you how horribly awful it is to say goodbye to your husband when you are pregnant? I honestly don't know how women allow their husbands to get deployed when they are pregnant. (Haha! "Allow.") I dropped Chris off at the airport for a week-long trip to Nebraska over Christmas while I stayed behind to work on Christmas Eve and Day. There were lots of reasons to be disappointed about him leaving. Mostly because he would be gone for a week, and I worried about stupid things like feeling the baby kick for the first time but him not being around to witness my reaction. Or not being together on Christmas. But most of all because something about the second trimester has made me absolutely obsessed with my husband. Not in any creepy sort of way, although the way I'm about to describe this is totally creepy.

I'm obsessed with the way he smells. I think he smells better than all the wildflowers and pizza in the world. I like to always be touching him. When we're sleeping, I always want part of me touching him. It doesn't even matter if it is my toes on his toes. I have to have it. The more pregnant I get, the cuter he becomes about it. He touches my belly and tells me "You really look pregnant." And I pretend to be super offended when really I love it. He makes me feel beautiful. Even when I look in the mirror and attempt to suck in my gut, and it doesn't move a centimeter, I still feel pretty. He's a good man, a great husband, and he's going to be an amazing dad.

And he doesn't judge me when I say I want a coffee from the drive-thru and then order a burger.

SO, needless to say,  I bawled like a baby when I got to my car after leaving him at the airport. And then I cried at home. And then I teared up on Christmas Eve when he wasn't there. And then I cried when I was waiting at the airport to pick him up. Because that is what I do now. I cry.

I cry. And then I pee. Because for some reason my body has decided that every 1-2 hours is enough time to pass before I pee. Even if, when I pee, it's the equivalent of 1/8 cup.

It's weird that I'm kind of like a giant baby with all the crying and peeing.

Alright, well, I'm done boring you for the evening. As always, thanks for reading.