Note: This is from a few weeks before Kip was born, one of two hospitalizations prior to his arrival.
One of the most aggravating things about South Texas is "South Texas time". It means that things get done...eventually. So, this morning I was supposed to get an ultrasound to see if all the fluids I have been pumped with all night long did a darn thing. Well, here we are at nearly two in the afternoon and...oh. I guess my public complaining on a website was the magic touch because ultrasound came to get me.
It is quite amazing how much better my mood gets when I get to see my baby. Good news! He still looks exactly like his dad. And after 3 liters of fluids pumped into an IV, my fluid level went up from 4.3cm to 7cm. I don't know that that is enough to attempt to do the external cephalic version that I so badly want to try, but at least it gives Kip just a little bit more "water in the pool" as Chris would call it. The doctor is in the office until 4-4:30 so I probably won't be seeing him for a little while. And then we will have a better idea of what the next step is.
It's been quite odd to be on the patient side of things. I think the staff kind of recognizes me but doesn't really know why, but it was quite obvious when people started to come visit me from inside the hospital. I think it's pretty neat when coworkers want to stop and say hi, even when they don't have to. It's also nurses' week, as some of you may have seen my hilarious memes shared on Facebook, This means that they are giving the nurses a different food group each day, and yesterday I was offered pizza (but had already eaten at 5pm, like the old lady I am), this morning a doc offered me a breakfast taco (which I refused because I had already eaten, but then realized I probably really should have taken one for Christopher), and then this afternoon someone dropped off ice cream for me. I thought that was really sweet.
I am surprised that the food has been better than I thought it would be! Last night I scarfed down my salisbury steak, this morning I inhaled my sausage/pancakes, and even lunch was good! Lunch should have been some kind of italian dish but I requested upon admission I did not receive any lasagna or spaghetti from the kitchen because the smell is enough to make me nauseated when I'm working on our floor. SO, chicken salad was a valid second option.
I felt bad upon admission yesterday. I think I probably annoyed the hell out of my nurse. First, I refused to wear the hospital gown. Mostly because I didn't want to wear something so breezy, but also because I have seen them at their dirtiest and even though I know they are washed well, I just couldn't force myself to wear one. For someone with anxiety (and not taking medication while pregnant), I was pretty proud of myself that I was able to handle everything up until that damn gown. So, that probably annoyed my nurse, coupled with denying any Italian foods, I probably got on her nerves a little. UNTIL, she and I got to talking and realized that she is actually from Nebraska. And from then on, we were buds. ;) (Plus, I didn't flinch either time she poked me for an IV.)
My nurses have been great. I think the fact that it is nurses' week has probably put them in good moods, as it does for me, but I think that they are generally happy with their jobs in the labor and delivery department and that makes all the difference, sometimes.
I slept like crap last night. Between being on the monitor, the IV bag emptying at midnight, and not having my usual barrage of pillows, it just wasn't going to happen. Warning: HUSBAND BRAG AHEAD. Although I told him he did not need to stay with me, and that he could stay home with dogs and get a good night sleep, my husband stayed with me at the hospital last night on a couch that is probably exactly his height, meaning he was wedged in. And when I told him the only thing I wanted him to bring was Riesens, he looked high and low for them at more than one store. (He had to find a replacement by Hershey's which turned out to be just as delicious!) And then he got in the bed that was too small for both of us and snuggled me while we watched "What to Expect When You're Expecting". He helped me with my wires when I had to go to the bathroom, and he even advocated for me when my bag of fluid was low and he didn't want the machine to beep and wake me up. I am quite impressed with him.
I should be thankful he was so sweet because I was a little monster yesterday. I was so nervous on the way to the first ultrasound that I didn't talk. And since my radio no longer works in my car, he just sat there quietly while I googled everything for the hundredth time. And since he got into the ultrasound room before I did, he told the staff how nervous I was. And after we did the ultrasound and I was told that my fluid was only 4.3cm (not only too low for a version but also too low for baby's safety at this point), he gave me water and helped me cover up so I could run to the bathroom because I thought I might throw up. We were then told by the high risk OB that we would need to go to Kingsville, back to our hospital to get admitted and get IV fluids.
In the car on the way back, I was so irritated. I'd been drinking almost a gallon of water every day since we were told we had low fluid last time, attempting to get it up to a tolerable level, peeing every 30 minutes I swear, and feeling like I was drowning myself. I haven't leaked amniotic fluid. And baby's kidneys are fine, so what is so wrong with my body that I keep fluctuating like this? And having never been hospitalized prior to this, my anxiety was climbing. (You read that right, no hospitalizations.) The back and forth was really getting to me, and naturally, you take that out on the person closest to you. I am lucky to be married to the man that I am, because he knows that sometimes I freak out and turn into a complete bitch, but after a couple of minutes I think about what I did/said and apologize.
SO, I'm still drinking quite a bit of fluids but also receiving fluids in my IV. At this point, I've gotten 3.5 liters in the IV. My hands are a little swollen, my feet are more swollen, but TMI, I did not expect any fluid to find its way to my girl parts to settle. What. The. Hell. So now, my girl parts are red and swollen and naturally, while I am in the bathroom, looking in the mirror discovering why it hurts so badly "down there", the nurse comes to check on me. And my pants are down at my knees. Sigh.
I then had to go make eye contact with her and ask if that was normal. They say it's because I've been in bed more than normal. I believe it, but I don't like it. So now I am standing while I type up my blog.
I had told my mom quite a while back that I didn't think I was going to have a June baby. I told her he was definitely going to come early, I just didn't know when. That made it very hard for her and dad to plan and pack. I just kept telling them to be ready, just in case. Well, after all that has happened the last couple of days, they got it done today. Dad even hung up his shirts in the vehicle. He's ready to go. So is mom. Honestly, I think the kid is ready, too. They are driving down with a car-load of stuff. Things mom has made, gifts from friends, mom's photography stuff, etc. You know that poor child is going to have his picture taken a thousand times a day.
The ultrasound done today was pretty cute. Kip still looks a ridiculous amount like his dad. I still don't think he got any of his genes from me. The other day I was looking at my feet in the mirror (so the bottom part of my feet) and realized that when I was being put together, my pinky toes are a total afterthought. So, the kid will probably have my weird feet. It is very hard to be angry at my little man after the ultrasound. He has always had his head up in my ribs. So, since about 5 months along I have had burning rib pain. The best way I have found to explain this is that someone peeled back the top layer of skin, laid a hot curling iron against my innards, and then put the skin back. It can be, at times, excruciating. He has also used my bladder has a seat cushion for the entire pregnancy, and since I had a small bladder to begin with, I pee 20 times a day. His head would often protrude next to my belly button, and I do remember the day quite clearly that I felt it against the desk Ia was working at. And I cried because I thought that maybe I had hurt him. With low fluid levels, at 33 weeks pregnant, I had to quit running. Not because the doctor said so, but because my body did. I didn't hurt, but I hurt for him. It didn't feel right.
Well, during the ultrasound the sonographer smiled. She said that I was going to need a sound machine with a heartbeat setting, because Kip was right next to my aorta. His head was actually using it as a pillow. She said he must have loved the sound so much he had to be as close to it as possible.
So, I forgave all the discomforts of pregnancy. Especially when I finally saw my little man for the first time.
I was discharged the next day after I was admitted. The doctor said we could try for the external cephalic version IF my fluid levels went up. So, we scheduled it for the following week and the doctor recommended I prepare for the epidural and to spend the majority of the day in the hospital. He also talked about inducing IF Kip changed position to head down. So, on a Tuesday, we went to the hospital, checked in, settled in our room, and got poked for an IV again. I had to wait for a bag of fluid to infuse before they would give me the epidural and the terbutaline, so I told Chris to go get himself breakfast while we waited.
Once the bag was infused, it was time for the epidural that I didn't want. Not for this procedure nor for my delivery. The doctor said it would increase our chances of success, so I agreed to it. You could tell this procedure wasn't done much, because a few people came in to watch. Quite a few, actually. The room was full of people, just to observe. So, once the terbutaline had kicked in (you know it has when you feel very jittery, like a caffeine high-it relaxes your uterine muscles but makes the others wig out) and the epidural had, too, The doctor greased up my stomach and found Kip's head and butt. First, he tried to loosen his head from where it was. (My fluid level was up to 9cm.) He as able to get a grip on his head, but it didn't budge. At all. Honestly, not even a centimeter. And it was excruciating. I usually laugh when something hurts, but I couldn't breathe. The staff told me to breath. My nurse held my hand. Chris was in the background somewhere, worrying because I was writhing. The doctor stopped for a minute, gave me a breather, and then tried again. Nothing. It felt like a snake bite on my gut. He said he would try one more time. All that prep for maybe five minutes of trying to turn Kip. And nothing.
So, I had to accept that it would be a c-section. As the doctor scrubbed his hands to walk out, I begged him to just do the c-section today. I already had the epidural, why not get it over with? He said we would check my fluid levels, and he would if they were low enough. For once, my fluid was at a normal level. Can you believe it? When I wanted it to be low, it wasn't. So he told me no, and said we would schedule it for Friday. So, at least we had a date and my parents had adequate time to get to us. My baby was a palindrome baby! Same date backward and forward - 5-15-15.
As everyone slowly filtered from my room, I'll never forget one of the supervising nurse's faces as she gently touched my foot and looked at me, knowing exactly how disappointed I must have been and wishing that things had turned out differently.
I truly believe that nurses give away little pieces of their heart.
