Let's see, 19 days ago we found out we were moving to Texas and Chris would be flying jets for the rest of his career as a Marine Aviator. 15 days ago we got orders. 14 days ago we scheduled movers to come pack our things and move us from Florida to Texas. 8 days ago the packers came to put everything we owned into boxes. 7 days ago movers loaded all of our belongings onto a truck. 6 days ago we arrived in Texas and saw our new home. 5 days ago our belongings arrived at our new home with about 700 square feet less of space. 3 bottles of Moscato later, our house is somewhat put together. Today I hung pictures on the wall, and that is a pretty big deal, my readers.
The town we live in now is called Bishop. We live near the famous King Ranch (http://www.king-ranch.com/) and that's pretty much the only claim to fame around here. It's weird to be back in a small town after living In Omaha, living near D.C. and then in Pensacola.
I think the only way to accurately portray what I'm going through is by interview, so here goes.
What is your favorite thing to do in Bishop?
Well, when I used Google Maps to research "entertainment", all that came up was one RedBox and one bar. We haven't utilized either.
What amenities are available to you?
Well, when I called to set up cable/internet last week on Wednesday, the customer service representative actually laughed at me when I asked if someone could come out the next day. Apparently that is unheard of.
Was it important to you to have a handicap accessible house?
Well, our movers really appreciated it, but the handicap accessible ramp was not on our list of priorities, no.
How many cats did you expect to receive with your new home?
To be honest, we weren't expecting any cats. Thank goodness the elderly lady who lived here previously (and did not die here, in case you were wondering), was kind enough to feed 13 stray cats who managed to hang around long after she was gone. Madison, a calico cat, was brave enough to sleep on our front porch the other day. A Nalli on a leash quickly taught her that that was a terrible idea.
What's your favorite game to play in your new town?
We may as well continue the cat conversation, as Chris and I enjoy counting cats while on our morning run. I won yesterday with 14 cats while he lost with just 1. Mind you, all 15 were seen in the first two miles of our run.
Where is the nearest hypnotic bullseye that makes you buy things (Target)?
35 miles away. I don't want to talk about it.
Is there a grocery store nearby?
Not in my town. The next town over has H.E.B. It's like a wannabe Hy-Vee but the H.E.B. is short for Henry Edward Butts. It's sufficient.
What have you been doing without Wi-Fi for almost an entire week?
I've been very thankful for our extensive movie collection, and trying to find room for all of my kitchenware/dishes.
How does Bishop keep up with the times?
It doesn't. If you want to pay for gas at the station with your debit card, you have to wait for the dial-up internet. Painful.
How did Ruby handle the move?
Pretty well. Her new "spot" is in the bedroom, with her head under the bed, trying to muffle the sounds of the rest of us being alive.
How about Nalli?
Nalli escaped twice in the first two days. Our house is lifted off the ground and she Army crawled right under it. The first time, we looked up out the front door and she was outside just watching us. The second time was after our landlord had been at our house for half an hour when he asked, "By the way, are all of your dogs in the backyard?" We ran out to check; she wasn't. Chris jumped in the Jeep and drove around the corner, she was trying to find shade in the terrible Texas heat, panting like she might pass out. She hasn't tried to run away since.
And Bart?
Bart broke out of his kennel the first time we left the house. He decided to devour an entire loaf of bread as well as rip open a bag of coffee grounds and fling them all over. He was awake for about 48 hours after that.
How do people like to decorate in Bishop?
The local trend seems to be mattresses in the yard. The really artistic townspeople have a mattress AND a boxspring!
What are you neighbors like?
We haven't really met any of them yet. The young daughter of one of the local mattress artists threw her small dog at us today-and I wish I was kidding, but we were walking Bart and Ruby and she picked the dog up, walked toward us, and threw her dog toward us. I remained very cool and said, "Honey, my dog is not nice to other dogs, can you please pick your dog up?" I swear to you, this girl did not know English, because she stared at me and then walked away. It's probably a good thing I didn't say what I really wanted to, which was something like, "Who the hell throws a dog? Where are your parents?! Where did you learn that you little monster?!"
Are there any landmarks in Bishop?
Yes! I use the broken-down school bus across the street to find our house.
Was it hard to move around the house with all of those boxes?
Yes, it was hard for all of us. Ruby had the hardest time, though. I went into the bathroom to grab something and she was standing near the toilet, presumably having just drank from it (which is not allowed). I shook my head at her and left. I returned ten minutes later with her in the same awkward standing position, not having moved an inch. "Okay, Ruby, what is wrong with you?" I walk over and realize that she managed to get her front legs over the cord but not her back legs, so she was just standing there waiting for someone to come save her.
Are you enjoying the wildlife?
Yes, but Nalli is enjoying it more than anyone. I came outside the other morning to find her foaming at the mouth because she tried to lick a toad.
Did you receive any housewarming gifts?
Yes! My most thoughtful husband bought me a bugzapper! We were disappointed, though, because this one is 50% quieter than other bugzappers. We had planned on drinking beer on the back porch listening to the sweet sounds of bugs' lives ending.
How did the dogs travel?
So well! The highlight was definitely when Nalli jumped out of the driver's side window of my car and followed me into the gas station. Thankfully, some lady in the parking lot said, "Uh, your dog like, jumped out of your car..." to me so I noticed before we walked through the door.
Is your new home suitable for people your size?
No. We hit our head on the light fixtures multiple times before we had to ask the landlords to replace them. We also crouch in the shower.
How is Chris blending in to Texas?
He bought cowboy boots. Fantasy fulfilled. ;)
How important are three-prong outlets?
Not important. Unless you want to plug in anything that's been made in the last ten years.
One last question, what is your favorite room in the house?
I can tell you my least favorite room! Did you know wood paneling still exists? It does.
Enjoy laughing at my pain, friends! Yee-haw!
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